Well, last week finished poorly despite my very strong efforts. On Friday I knelt down to put a jacket on my dog (first snow and cold weather) for our walk, and I tore a muscle in my quadricep. That the muscle tore was not surprising since it was sore already for over a week, and I had just been doing more activities, including dance and step aerobics. Something was bound to give. But it gave SO HARD that I wound up screaming and crying for almost 10 minutes because I felt such excruciating pain radiating down my leg.I “whited out” in pain.
I had to lay in bed for the day. I felt down and ate a lot.
The next day was extremely stressful because I had to hobble around to set up for our Halloween gathering. I spent about 6 hours in constant movement just getting the yard set up with decorations and games, getting food ready, going shopping for last minute items — my leg was KILLING me and I was so stressed out on top of the pain. I ended up eating a lot of candy and generally bingeing on unhealthy foods and alcohol.
For the rest of the weekend I just let my leg heal. I ate more candy. My head was not in the game because I was feeling down.
As I begin Week 4, I am like…what the hell am I doing? I am into this “program” for 4 weeks and I feel worse off than when I began. I have gained weight and have next to nothing to show for this time.
Something needs to shift. I decided to create a new template to use each day:
|Daily Self Care||Notes|
|Reach 125 pounds||Lose .5 – 1 pound per week|
|Be more present with parenting||Put aside mental and emotional space|
|Manage stress better||Meditate and do yoga, feel feelings|
|Balance work/play/family life||Make time for all things|
|Feel more joy||Explore interests and passions|